Emi’s Birth Story & One Month Update | Maggie Mills Photography
It’s hard to believe that our girl is already one month old but here we are! We’ve settled into a good groove and starting to get the hang of life with a newborn so I wanted to share a bit about her birth story as well as share her newborn photos! It’s so strange being on the other side of the process but it’s been the sweetest season and we’re thankful for the photographers who have documented this journey for us so far! It’s a lengthy blog post but I hope you enjoy!
First let me preface by saying that we’re so thankful that Emilia is here, healthy, and doing so well! However the experience of her birth was not an easy one, and probably won’t be easy to write. I’m still processing it all as it did not go how I imagined it and was the most intense experience of my life. It’s important to give mothers the space to process traumatic birth experiences without minimizing their experience by saying things like “at least she’s here and healthy!” Of course I’m thrilled that she’s the most perfect babe and hasn’t had any issues thus far, and that is a huge blessing! And…it was hell getting her here and both of those feelings can exist at the same time! Okay…here we go!
My due date was Friday, September 10th, and I had stopped shooting by mid-August. Most of my wedding gear had been passed off to my longtime second shooter, Jenna, who is taking over my weddings during maternity leave. The hospital bags were packed, carseat in the car just waiting for a little babe to take home! We all wanted me to get through Labor Day Weekend and so by Tuesday I was ready for this baby to come! Around 1 am early Wednesday morning I started having contractions for a bit that got my attention and at 7 am I passed my mucus plug- this shouldn’t be said because it’s a birth story but I’m going to be transparent about what my body went through! I wasn’t expecting a blood clot with the mucus plug so I got all freaked out and talked to a L&D nurse. She said that it was in fact my mucus plug and my body was preparing for labor, and that she expected me to be coming to the hospital sometime that day! I knew that passing the plug was going to get things going but it could be hours or days after that passing for things to happen. Either way, I was ready and determined I was having the baby that day! My mom & sister came over and we took a walk around the neighborhood. I had been contracting off and on all day but not consistently. By the time we got back from the walk and we sat on the couch for a bit, my contractions started coming consistently and so we began to time them using a contraction app! Suddenly the app was telling me to go to the hospital which happened a lot sooner than I expected! There’s a 5-1-1 rule for contractions that says that you should go to the hospital when they’re at least 5 min apart, lasting for at least one minute for at least an hour. After about the third message telling me to go to the hospital, my family was urging us to go. I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable but was overall feeling good! But we packed up our stuff and headed to the hospital!
We get there, get into a triage room and they want me to give a urine sample! I had heard people joke about how but unrealistic that is to request of a woman that’s 9 month pregnant, but goodness it was impossible! And that, my friends, is how I end up peeing on my husband’s hand!! He was much more unfased it than I was lol! They check me and tell me that I’m at 3 cm and want me to get to 4.5 in an hour to get admitted, so they encourage us to walk to the halls to get things moving! That’s exactly what we do but by the time they check me again there had been a shift change. The new nurse checks me (not so gently and it really upset me because OUCH!!!) and tells me I’m at 4.5! Awesome! Let’s do this! Not… They want to monitor my contractions in the bed for 45 min, and in that time they slow down. Because of that they sent us home, encourage us to get some rest (at this point it’s 9 pm) and to expect to be later in the day. Apparently the caveat to the 5-1-1 rule is that you need to come in when your contractions are so strong that you can’t walk or talk through them. And I was not at that point yet, so they told us to come when that was the case or if my water breaks. Obviously upset that we were being sent home after 4 hours in triage, I get in the tub at home and by the time I’m in the bed the contractions have basically stopped. Hurumph…
The following day is annoyingly uneventful even after a 3.5 mile walk at Tanglewood with my parents. My belly was hard and hurting the whole walk, but as soon as I sit down, it relaxed. We do the same walk on Friday, my due date, and at this point we’d been stalled out for 2 days and I’m convinced that I wasn’t having the baby that day. After our walk, my parents ask us if we want to go to Jugg Heads which is their favorite place to go drink a beer on a Friday. I was frustrated that things weren’t progressing, so I said screw it let’s go! And wouldn’t you know it…my water breaks at this bar!! Of course haha!! And we didn’t even take my car so David raced back home as contractions picked up, and if you know my husband you know that this exact moment was literally made for him! He took delight in speeding us back home lol!
I called an L&D nurse again once we got home because I wasn’t sure that my water had actually broken. My contractions weren’t strong enough that I couldn’t walk or talk through them and I sure as hell did not want to get sent back home again! But the nurse was convinced that my water had broken and that labor had started, and she encouraged us to come on in. By the time we get to the hospital, I’m seriously uncomfortable and clearly in labor! They confirm that I was leaking amniotic fluid and I was at 4 cm. After several other super uncomfortable and challenging checks, they finally admit us to a room! David lets our photographer, Courtney, know that we’re admitted and while I wanted her to arrive before I got the epidural, things got real pretty fast! Shortly after we get settled into the room, my contractions pick up and I’m getting pretty restless. We had taken a labor and delivery class at the birth center and knew that they encouraged out-of-bed movements when possible! And I knew that I wanted to get into the hot shower and get water flowing on my back as the back labor was getting intense. But of course the hospital had the most disappointing water pressure and it never got hotter than lukewarm. So instead of getting relief, I was just cold, wet, and in a ton of pain! When I got out of the shower and back to sitting on the side of the bed, I was so uncomfortable and could not find a position that provided relief. So when they offered the epidural, I happily accepted because this shit was for the birds!!
Getting the epidural brought such relief and I was thrilled to have that pain behind me! We even put on FRIENDS and were looking forward to a chance to slow down and catch our breath. Courtney got there and took some sweet and peaceful pictures that were quite literally the calm before the storm… We knew that labor was going to take a while because this was my first baby and the nurse said she was going to check me again in 4 hours, that was around midnight. At this point I’m now at 5 cm. So Courtney went back home for the night and before she left I mentioned that I could feel a bit of pain in my lower back again and I didn’t know if that was normal or not. When they gave me the epidural, they gave me a big dose that lasts around 45 minutes and then I could press the button to administer more medicine as needed. Well low and behold, the 45 minutes passed and the pain came rushing back! But the machine wasn’t releasing the medicine and it was beeping and saying that there was a blockage between me and the machine…
Suddenly my pain is back and getting super super intense, I’m definitely screaming at this point and so incredibly uncomfortable! David grabs the nurse several times and she tells us that the anesthesia team is in back-to-back emergency c-sections with covid patients. So we have to wait for them to get out of surgery to fix the machine. So the only people who can fix it are unavailable and things are progressing really really quickly. I’m so incredibly overwhelmed by the pain and so frustrated because this was not supposed to be the case! I had gotten the epidural, had relief, and now it wasn’t working and there was no one who could come and help me! I really got their attention when I was screaming “please please please” and suddenly there were 7 nurses in the room! They want to check me and I don’t want a soul to touch me, but they insist and tell me that I’m at 8 cm!!! I had gone from 5 to 8 in about an hour and a half! Suddenly things are moving very fast around me, we’re having this baby! (For reference, I had seen afterwards that it’s safe to expect first time moms to dilate 1 cm per one or two hours, so safe to safe they were all shocked by how fast I dilated!)
Honestly at this point I’m so overwhelmed and disassociated with my body because I cannot process what’s happening. It’s not like I blackout literally but I think a part of me did because of how quickly everything happened and how it was just not supposed to go like this!! Everyone talks about how you know when you need to start pushing because of a big feeling of pressure and so when I felt that they took it seriously! I went from 8-10 in 10 minutes… Poor Courtney was running through the parking deck back to the room whenever we started pushing, things happened so fast!
I start pushing at 2 am and now there’s an anesthesiologist by my head pushing meds directly into the port to my back, but at this point my pain is too far gone that they can’t catch up to it. It provides me enough relief to be able to fully relax between contractions which previously didn’t happen. I pushed for 42 minutes but it didn’t feel like it was that long! And at 2:42, Emilia Grace Amaya came screaming into the world arms wide open! They immediately placed her on my chest and suddenly all the pain I had felt and everything that had just happened, none of it mattered. She was here and she was perfect! It was a feeling that can never be described! It also helped that now the medicine had kicked in and I was good and numb again! She stayed on my chest for an hour and a half while they did the repairs and David stared at her the whole time. She was just so perfect, she even latched within the first 20 minutes!!
Even though we were disappointed that we couldn’t have visitors in the hospital to meet our girl, it ended up being a blessing. We were all so exhausted! We didn’t make it to the recovery room until about 8 am and so we spent all of Saturday resting in the room, which admittedly was hard for those waiting to hear all about her birth! But it’s also impossible to truly rest in the hospital as people are constantly coming and going, so we were thrilled to be discharged on Sunday afternoon! Oh and as if there was any doubt, David was so amazing through everything and was my rock! He held my hand while I crushed it through every contraction, encouraged and supported me through every scream, and cared for both of us so well in and out of the hospital! I was pretty useless that first day and he had to help me with just about everything! I am so thankful to have such an amazing partner!
So, yes, our Emi came into this world in a way that was much different than I had ever imagined but she is healthy and absolutely perfect! She weighed 7 lbs 9 oz and was 20.5 in long at birth, with a 14 cm head of which I felt every little bit! She even got back to birth weight the Thursday after she was born! We’re so thankful that she’s been doing so well and that her birth was safe. And, with that being said, it’s still been something that I’ve had to process just how fast, overwhelming, and painful her birth was. The thing is, I never thought that I’d have to have an unmedicated birth. My dad has always said “life is better living through chemistry” and I always knew that I’ve get an epidural if it was available to me! I’m all for the mommas who want to go the natural route but there’s so much preparation that they do in order to mentally prepare for that feat. That was not something I had considered, especially how fast things progressed, that it was so incredibly overwhelming. At the end of the day, it didn’t have to be that way. It didn’t have to be that hard! But it was and someday that will feel empowering and amazing that I did that! But for right now it’s still a lot to process and pretty upsetting. I wanted my birth experience to be peaceful and joyful. I brought essential oils and made playlists to go with the mood of the room! But everything happened so fast that there wasn’t time for anything! At the end of the day, I honestly think that things progressed so quickly because I got regular chiropractic care starting in the middle of my second trimester so everything was aligned. I was like a human waterslide just ready to shoot out a baby lol!! Which would have been amazing had the epidural machine not crapped out on me! (Also huge shoutout to Dr. Melissa at Burke St. Chiropractic! I saw her regularly and not only did she help with back and pelvic pain from pregnancy & keep me aligned to reduce discomfort, but she also totally fixed my neck and daily headaches! She’s a gem and if you’re local to the triad I highly recommend her to anyone!!)
So bringing my daughter into the world was the hardest, most overwhelming and surreal experience of my life! It brought the most intense pain and most incredible joy! And my love for her is so overwhelming and all-consuming. It had been her all along. The little flutters that turned into flips. Her little kicks that turned into big jabs to the ribs. I talked & sang to her. I wrote to her before she was conceived and all throughout my pregnancy. I prayed so hard for her and for these moments. Now she’s here and she’s perfect, and we have a whole lifetime ahead of us! What a gift!
Now, knowing the whole story, here are our amazing birth photos thanks to the amazing Courtney Grant Photography!
So now we are over a month into this whole parenthood thing and have successfully kept her alive thus far, hooray!! As to be expected, the first couple of weeks were hard between Emi having her days & nights mixed up, breastfeeding challenges, postpartum recovery and general exhaustion from labor. We were so blessed to have our families close by and ready to help. My mom actually has taken a two month sabbatical in preparation for her first grandbaby and comes over almost every morning! That first day home, I could barely lift my head enough to tell David that mom could come by anytime. That first night at home was rough and we hardly got any sleep. I was totally and completely exhausted and my whole body hurt. While I anticipated the pain and discomfort from a vaginal birth, I was totally shocked by the debilitating back pain I had from back labor! It was honestly the most uncomfortable part of that first week! It kept from me walking or standing for very long and made me winded for weeks! And then the other parts of me that were healing kept me from being able to sit down normally for the first week! Oh and not to mention scabbed and damaged nipples that resulted in me having to pump on one side while my nipple healed, and then getting a clogged duct that hurt like hell!! Thankfully I was able to get rid of it before it got infected and I got masitits! All of this was within the first week and a half… Postpartum is no joke! Oh but she made it all so incredibly worth it!!
Overall Emi is the sweetest and chillest babe, we’re so lucky!! It took her just over a week and a half to straighten out her days & nights after we implemented some techniques to get her straight. And ever since, we’ve been in the clear! She even got the okay from her pediatrician after 2 weeks to go from eating every 3 hours to every 4! That was the biggest blessing! She’s an amazing eater & sleeper, which is exactly what I prayed for! She hates a dirty diaper, loves her paci, and has occasional gas discomfort, but I think at this point we’ve figured her out! I almost keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to start crying around the clock and waking up every hour on the hour at night, but she’s remaining our little angel babe! While there have been parts that have been hard (see above!) it’s not nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be early on. I had so much anxiety about how hard this season would be because that’s all that people talk about! But it’s because you can’t understand the overwhelming, all-consuming, and life-changing love for your child until you have one. And that makes it all worth it and there are so many more amazing moments than hard ones! Like watching David become a dad, and our best friends meeting our baby, and singing to her every night the same song my mom sang to me as a baby. Emilia Grace is the biggest blessing and we’re so grateful to be her parents! We have a lifetime ahead of us and we can’t wait for each milestone along the way, while also soaking up all the newborn snuggles while we can! And we will forever cherish these stunning newborn portraits from our session with Click Away Photo!
